Our industry is fun and weird and sometimes ridiculous. So since it’s an easy target, I present my top 10 signs that you’re a copywriter…

1. Your mantra is: If at first you don’t succeed, retarget.
2. You paid $300 for Breakthrough Advertising, snapped a selfie to show it off, but you can’t understand a goddamn word of it.
3. You claim credit for an entire launch … unless it failed. Then it was those effing ad guys.
4. You beat off in copywriting groups more than you beat controls.
5. Someone asks if you have a “hit” from the “sugar man,” and you give them The Adweek Copywriting Handbook.
6. You sent a fax to Dan Kennedy to invite him to your wedding.
7. You’ve handwritten a sales letter for so long that Google used your handwriting as CAPTCHA.
8. You named your Wi-Fi network “Bencivengabitch37.”
9. You missed the tax deadline because you were expecting the IRS to send 3 last chance emails and a surprise cart reopen.
10. Your own mother has no idea what you do for a living. (“April works … at the Internet?”)

And the Internet marketing bros be like…